A Legitimate Concern.. (29 Mar 2003)

Dear Abby,

I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in a suburb of
Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville is married to
a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for
growing and selling marijuana and are currently depending on my other two
sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers. One is
currently serving a non parole life sentence in Attica for rape and murder
of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the
Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives
in the Bronx and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. However,
her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as
the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in
joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute
themselves, at least it would get them off the street and, hopefully the
heroin.

Abby, my problem is this, I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her
into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should
I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation.